A Dad Living IN...

One of the hardest aspects of being a Husband and a Dad is being authentic in the small spaces.

(with the Action Journal release I'll post some thoughts on this Live UP / IN / OUT Family on Mission rhythm...starting now)

Living IN is found in that tension between being sinful man and righteous child of God. Of being both a strong man as well as a humble boy in the face of adversity. Of bold leadership in decision making and meek submission at the same time.

To worship the Father as a living sacrifice right here in this home, in this neighborhood, of the edge of those famous mountains...and to do so without pomp and faux-perfection and all of this right before the eyes of the same family that experiences my imperfections and witness' my weakness' daily is a wild spot to be in.

There is no hiding my shortcomings when it comes to derailed home projects, disappointments, hurts and missed expectations. So why on earth is there a false expectation for glam and show when it comes to my spiritual walk, my faithful living, right here in my home?

To Live IN as a Dad is:
to be honest about my gifts and abilities endowed by the Spirit.
to be open about my weakness' as a maturing disciple.
to be bold in faith in private and public as opportunity allows.
to be humble in circumstance as the Lord works.
to seek forgiveness when I'm wrong and hurtful.
to teach forgiveness when my kids are wrong and hurtful.
to model my faith in Christ as a slave to righteousness.
to model repentance as a slave to righteousness.
to love despite...
to allow myself to be loved despite...
to love my wife as Christ loves the Church.
to love my kids as the Fathers loves His.
to party.
to enjoy.
to discern.
to discipline.
to engage the Word in real time and in truth.
to engage the Word in our lives in real time and with grace.

The fruit of Living IN on purpose most intentionally this past year has been invaluable. Seriously. There has never been a more intentional season of life getting my house in order. I'm not talking about finances and comfort and career and ordering a serene and sterile home. No. Dear Lord No.

I mean a rekindling of Husbandry (not that kind). A reordering of values and expectations as a parent, as a Dad. A discovery through trial and error and discernment of how we engage IN here in my home.

Someone asked recently how discipling my kids interconnects with this Family on Mission Action Journal. Great Q! The Action Journal engages my family in disciplmaking a few of different ways:

• It offers us the opportunity to engage each area of life without neglecting the others (UP / IN / OUT).
• My wife and I discover more and more how we engage Word together. How we teach and model Truth at home, along the road, in our strengths and weakness'.
• It's all intentional, challenging, and full of kairos moments to experience and discern. Some things we won't do again. Ever. They're one-off experiences. This is part of discovering how we engage Jesus together in ways that will become part of our weekly / monthly rhythm. (and ways that won't)
• It fosters creative space for 1x1 kairos moments more and more so they become a natural part of our relationships and calendar rhythms.

One-off events are good. When they lead to the discovery of rhythmic mission and greater familial vision they're freakin' awesome!

So how does discipling my kids connect with the Action Journal? Deeper discipleship is fostered on mission together. And intentional / relational / exponential rhythmic time in the Word in the context of real experiences, struggles, convictions, discoveries and faith together is a fruit worth fostering on purpose.

Yep, being a dude for Christ in the home is a wild ride. It's painful and pure joy. Living IN with the good and the bad is invaluable.

Are you experiencing a Live IN life?
Are you open about your crap?
Are you engaging your gifts?
Are you a team? For real. Are you running the race together together? Or are you running the race together apart?

NOW AVAILABLE: Action Journal!

IT"S HERE! A Family on Mission Action Journal is here and ready to roll...

In honor of the release of A Family on Mission Action Journal I thought I'd share my family shared in a Live UP adventure this weekend.

A page from our Action Journal

I'm a pretty big fan of finding, making or recreating space for my family to shake off dusty old expectations of how a Christian family orders their life and one way my wife and I do this is to skip Sunday morning gatherings with the greater Church body and lead worship in our living room once in a while.

This weekend we did just that! Here's how it rolled and it did NOT roll smoothly, but it was absolutely worthwhile:

PART ONE: We woke up.
Pretty simple step (most of the time).

The kids played with Legos and I sipped on coffee. Around 10am, which is the time we typically connect with the Body, we rallied in the living room to an upbeat Newsboys song and got some energy moving about our minds and bodies.

To be honest it totally derailed at this point with my son. I won't say too much about his attitude because I don't want to embarrass him but let's just say it went sour and disrespect was high. Because worshipping God is a privilege and not a right I sent my boy to his room while my wife, daughter and I dove in.

Then it got better. My daughter started crying because of my sternness with her brother. Real nice.

After a few moments I brought my son downstairs, discussed his actions, struggled through some apologies on his part and a few hugs later his attitude was totally different and his mind was clear and ready to engage. And we all did just that.

PART TWO: Teaching & Discussion.
Seriously. My son is in first grade and my daughter is three. So as we read through James 3 and the wild nature of our speech and heart comparing it to horses and ships and forests we drew some pictures together about each image and how they compare to our tongue, our words and our hearts and actions.

How appropriate that we had an attitude meltdown earlier and we totally used it as an example of two things:

1. How our hearts and mouths can impact our time with God and with others both positively and negatively.
2. How redemption and reconciliation look when we're humbled and willing to seek forgiveness and then reshape our words and mindset with Jesus' direction.

'With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father...' James 3:9

PART THREE: Activities
After 15 minutes in the Word and discussion we dove into a craft depicting the tongue and it's work in our lives.

We followed this up with about 5 or 6 more upbeat worship songs from YouTube. Once in a while we sang together and paused to read the lyrics but honestly, we simply had fun jumping and dancing and singing together.

There's this idea that missing a large Church gathering on the weekend will demonstrate to our kids that we don't really take God seriously as Christians. And worse, that being a true disciple means showing up every weekend to earn salvation points or to prove to others that we really are believers. Like perfect Sunday attendance is a true sign of spiritual integrity in Christ.

Well, you can assume I don't agree with any of that and in fact spending this time as a family, leading as parents, praying together, creatively engaging the Word together and modeling a Christlikeness that truly goes beyond a Weekend Church Service in my experience carries a beautiful spiritual weight and fosters a spiritual fruit many of us miss out on in our homes.

CHALLENGE:

1. Check out the Family Action Journal.
2. Open the door a little more to being a Family on Mission!

The Internal Debate of the Family on Mission

So I'm pretty excited about the Family on Mission Action Journal coming out next month. I thought I'd take a minute and share some thoughts on the making of the journal.

I've had this internal debate going on for months now regarding the making and sharing of this journal. It began as an overflow of the discovery process with my wife on what it looks like for the Christ-centered family (our family) to live out Gospel truth together.

Leaning into 3dm's Up / IN / OUT discipleship rhythm we've been worshipping, learning, playing and serving on purpose in our home, neighborhood and network. Creating and taking opportunities as they come.

In the past few years we've come to realize that while each individual believer is gifted by the Spirit to serve the body and engage the world differently, the Apostle Paul really engages this teaching, as a family unit we're designed to live a Christ-centered rhythm together in ways no other space can replicate.

The local Church offers so much opportunity for personal discovery of these gifts that Dad can minister to the body regularly in a different spaces than Mom. Mom and daughter never have to cross paths in between the women and student ministries. Father and son can be engaged in totally separate multi-evening weekly events and never really share a 1x1 meal engaging in healthy Kairos moments together.

So as my wife and I have been discovering and recreating a healthier family rhythm I've been wrestling with whether or not I'm qualified as a healthy and maturing father, husband and disciple of Christ to offer my understanding of the Biblical call to live on mission as a family with others. It's a humble position to be in to ask another to engage in a particular rhythm of mission that I'm personally convicted about. It's one thing to attempt to live it out in my home and quite another to invite others to invest in a resource that I have invested in.

So while some days I feel like a failure and other days victorious in my walk - this internal debate is healthy as it propels me to desire Christlike maturity as developed and defined by Scripture. It's unhealthy in that it causes me to negatively compare myself with other mature believers which stunts my ability to see clearly the simple nature of sharing Truth that the Spirit has shared with me.

'Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sin psalms, hymns and spiritual sons with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.' - Colossians 3:15-17

That said, the Family on Mission Action Journal is on its way. The debate is nearly over. Peace and Word are doing their work and Thankfulness is the result.

It's a resource. A tool. An opportunity to propel our families toward discovering a healthy rhythm of life together as long as your season of parents and children share space under one roof - your roof.

Dwell in the word.
Sing together.
Serve together.
Pray together.
Eat together.
Play together.
Commune together.

This Action Journal is a way of taking the most practical elements of engaging Christ and His call to engage the our families and those closest to us together and tossing them on our dinner tables to discuss, pray about and creatively engage in our home and in our neighborhoods.

And I'm incredibly excited to hear your family stories on mission.

Which events, activities, passages, experiences, spaces and moments open doors for you and your family to engage the muddy waters of lifestyle disciplemaking.

Let discipleship be an overflow of your family life - not an added element of volunteerism in your weekly endeavors!

January 2015 Book Release / A Family on Mission Action Journal

A Family on Mission Action Journal  /  Coming January 2015

Check out my first forthcoming Action Journal dedicated to fostering intentional family life in Christ together. Get active on purpose and regularly at that! Next Year (January 2015) order a copy for your family - and one for each of the families in your Missional Community. Get active together one day at a time.

Live UP / Live IN / Live OUT  This rhythm of life as a family dedicated to growing in Christ personally and together AND engaging Jesus' call to make disciples who make disciples is a wild adventure. On our journey to engage our neighbors and network with the Gospel together as a family we need a little encouragement from time to time.

Journey together through UP - IN - OUT adventures, journal about the events, the people involved, the work of the Spirit and the fruit you'll be praying about for future relationship and mission.

Being missional as a disciple of Christ is most rewarding when it's the overflow of our Deuteronomy 6:4-9 family life rhythm. It's most fruitful when it leads to discipling relationships both inside and outside the home.

Are you enjoying the call of Christ right here in your home?

A Family on Mission Action Journal / The Next Absolutely Unprofessional Publication coming January 2015.

One Year Since Departing...

The other day a friend asked how my position was fleshing out at the local church I had moved here to Ohio to help launch. Two things came to mind:

One: Man, time flies! It's been one year since I parted from that position and local body.

Two: I haven't connected with this guy in a year. That's ridiculous!

I hadn't intended on processing the previous season at the one year mark but around this same time I bumped into another individual I had been building a relationship with during my time on staff and was struck by their impression of my departure. These encounters have spurred me on to continue to reflect on the growth, healing and hoping process as the Spirit regenerates and repurposes my family and I.

Here are a very, very few things that have come to light.

The Junk:
It's safe to say I had some baggage going into that position that hadn't been dealt with, much I was even unaware of. An unhealthy blend of self-deprecation and pride blasted my confidence in the Lord and thus robbed Him of His due glory.

When there was no one left to 'do ministry' with and my family I were thrust into a season of reconciling our purpose and rhythm with our present circumstances...then pride and self-deprecation were dragged out into the open and I have been forced to reckon with these oppressive character traits.

Freedom does abound beyond the restraints of 'self'. You know what light does, right? It dissipates hurt and disillusion and everything that's false. Not quickly, but surely.

The Family:
Goodnight! I have an incredible wife. I have two incredible kids. I missed them and I wasn't even aware of just how much. During my stint on staff I had spoken a lot about healthy family rhythm and quantity of time with the family, not simply quality...honestly I felt much like a skipping record on these verses.

Yet, somewhere in the midst of that season I lost touch with my own family, my own healthy rhythm and all in the name of 'getting my crap done so the Kingdom can move onward.' By the time I left my position I was disillusioned with my call, my gifts, my family unity, my role in the Kingdom and the individual relationships with my wife, my son and my daughter.

In the past year my wife and I have been rebuilding a vision for the future and acting on our mission. I have reimagined an honest discipling relationship with my son. I am also learning to be the father of a beautiful little girl who doesn't need a pastoral figure in the house but a father chasing after God's heart.

The Parting:
I was surprised (maybe not entirely) to hear the impression my friend had regarding my leaving the position and thus the local body. He wondered why I would move here, build relationships and then depart overnight without a word to anyone personally and all under the banner of a 'difference of ministry philosophy and vision.'

Great question. At the moment I didn't know what to say except what I had been saying - that my personal expectations grew apart from the direction of the body and so I departed. I suppose that's true.

What's more, however, is that I didn't choose to depart, at least not quickly and quietly and not at that time. I had been asked to leave. There's a difference. This particular conversation revealed a hurt caused by my rapid abandoning of this budding friendship, hurt in no major way I should add, but hurt that I would choose to indirectly disown them and that without a word.

I didn't intend to. Yes, my pride and self-deprecation robbed us of fruit and relationship but these were heavily intertwined with ministry philosophy changes and challenges creeping in apart from those I was truly convicted of and so I wasn't able to (or willing to) reconcile what I had moved here to serve and partake in with what was actually being developed. But I didn't jump ship. The ship made a brief but rapid stop and asked me to depart. I did not intend to abandon any relationships and yet I did, collateral damage.

You know how it works, you're hurt so you inadvertently hurt others and communication breaks down and impressions and assumptions are made etc. And so I consolidated my personal resources and relationships and bunkered down to regroup. Some people didn't make it in the bunker. I'm sorry.

So now what? Well it's interesting to look back over the past year and see this Sovereign God still at work.

While I cannot reconcile all of the experiences during my time on staff with Gods heart and purpose, it is safe to say that He neither abandons His people, those on all sides of such painful interaction, nor does he abandon the work of expanding His Kingdom one disciple at a time through those who are faithful. That is glorious knowledge and faith abounds in retaining such truths.

So how is my position fleshing out? Well, it's doing just that. The Spirit is continuing the lifelong process of incarnating the Gospel within these old bones, within my family and my home. One year is not a lot of time. It's the amount of time I spent investing in that local body. It's also the amount of time I have had since leaving that position.

One year goes by fast and while the above realizations are important they are only a slice of what has been taking shape. It feels good to own my junk, my sin. It also feels good to own my decisions and let go of those others have made on my behalf.

I wonder what you might be in the process of realizing, overcoming, healing from and hoping for?

Where do you see the Lord at work and where do you see Satan creeping in to steal and destroy?

And of course - what is God teaching you about who you are in His Kingdom and what are you going to do about it?

A year flies by. Don't waste it.

Quality AND Quantity 3

You know what, let's go ahead and put some healthy parameters on Quantity and Quality just to make things interesting. Let's extract some key statutes The LORD asks of the Israelites as He sends them on their journey to possess the Land He has Promised them.

As it pertains to Quality:

• Fear the LORD your God
• Walk in all His ways
• Love Him
• Serve the LORD your God with all your heart and soul
• Observe the LORD's commands and decrees given for your own good

As it pertains to Quantity:

• Fear the LORD your God
• Walk in all His ways
• Love Him
• Serve the LORD your God with all your heart and soul
• Observe the LORD's commands and decrees given for your own good

Following the call to journey steadfastly as a family unit (an oikos) with parents training and equipping their children to inquire of, seek after, know, serve, love and worship the LORD (Deut. 6), the Lord follows up with the above attributes of an extended family, a chosen people on mission together.

Together moving towards the Promised Land. Moving towards a greater fulfillment of the very Covenant God made with Abraham and fulfills in Christ.

The question the above parameters sets before us is not whether we are engaging in each one (Fear, Service, etc.) - but whether or not we are engaging with those we're most directly and divinely entrusted with daily?

Enjoy fostering some immediate prayer, discernment and practice in relation to each aspect above.

Read Deuteronomy 10:11 - 11:32. Dig into a Gospel and note the Quality and Quantity of the life of Jesus with His nearest and dearest.

Quality OR Quantity 2

I appreciate the tension the topic of Quality/Quantity brings with it.

Each one of us will process with our own immediate context to filter the concepts of Q/Q through, and for many of us this stirs up frustration and the like. We assume that only a dreamer can have it both ways, an idealist out of touch with reality (Gwyneth P. syndrome I suppose). That the author is unaware of what he is really saying. I am a fool, that I can testify to and yet I believe this is a conversation worth processing.

Let's do two things to help make this idea of living on mission with your framily (not the Sprint plan), through the lens of Quality/Quantity, more palatable.

1. Let's put some spiritually set-apart meat on this (awkward phrase but you can roll with it). In the last post we noted Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Read it again and highlight the key spaces God decrees (:1) that we walk in with our families (both immediate and extended as we move into the greater family plan according the Jesus and His Church).

He highlights this call to 'Love the Lord your God' repeatedly (7:12, 8:6, 10:12-22, 11:1-32 etc).

Not only does he cover every moment of the day (Quantity) but the LORD notes that this time is spent enjoying Him with those dearest to us (Quality).

We see this graphically displayed in the NT in both Acts 2 & 4. I know, I know, I know...this 2014 and that type of giving and receiving and sharing in life together is nonsense here in the Western world you and I thrive in. But what if the principle is the same even if the physical isn't?

What if the principle of sharing in life together in such overwhelming ways is the same? I spend time with your kids when you're at work because we're family. You spend time with my wife (ahem, ladies) when I'm gone in order to share in the journey of life. That we walk together at sun-up. We share stories of Jesus in passing and in sitting. Over coffee and in the moment we regard both Quantity and Quality as equal infusers in our lives on mission (and by the way, on mission is simply another way of saying intentionally, purpose-filled, directed towards the very things that glorify God and His mission...)

We rearrange our work schedules to best of our ability to be home more. We make lunch plans with our spouses and newborns. We disciple in the dining room so our 6 year can witness, partake and be loved on in the process. We scratch another volunteer opportunity off the list and instead simply sit on our porch and catch a few words with the neighbors walking by.

I don't care what it is practically, that's for you to discern but we both know if you could, if time and space and money allowed...you would do something different.

There it is: What would you do different with your family time and family energy - your family mission - if you could do anything at all? 

2. Let's put some parameters on Quality and Quantity so we know when we're being work-a-holics or simply surviving. So we can discern apathy and indifference from peace and patience.

Actually, let's not. At least not right now and not in detail. Once we attach specific acts to Quality and hours to Quantity we begin the journey into the legalities of such concepts instead of the freedoms intended.

So for conversations sake since I have a personal word quota I'm shooting for here, let's just say that in order for you and your family to truly define these and live them out well you've got to be willing to throw your personal goals, vision, dreams, calendar, and wallets on the table and redefine what is most important through the lens of Biblical familihood and eternity in light of the mission and message of Christ.

Simple right.

This isn't just a matter of reading through Ephesians 5 and doing a marital gut-check, though it might be that. Nor is it pouring over the qualities of Godly men and women found in the Pastoral Epistles though these are fantastic for every believer to do as each one of us ought to be leading/influencing others in some capacity.

No, this is a matter of sitting in the Gospel. Resting in the story of God. Pressing into and shaking together your actual life with the life of the man/woman truly chasing after Gods very heart.

Read the sermon on the mount in Matt 5 and then check out the 5 key attributes of life God sought from the Israelites in Deut. 10:12-13...and :14-22 for that matter.

Look. The idea is to wrestle with your heart, your sin, your current reality (which you simply might not be able to control in this season, but make it a season if at all possible, don't make it a lifestyle). Yes, it's a loose concept and will vary from family to family depending on your gift mix, culture, desires, the Lords desires, opportunities and the like. Though it's a generic conversation of Q/Q - it's pertinent, it's vital and it may be the difference between a healthy marriage, a mending marriage, and no marriage at all. A healthy daughter or a daughter seeking 'quality' elsewhere. A healthy son, or a son without confidence but a dad who certainly can be engaged once a week in that scheduled sabbaths moment of need.

I hope you're offended in someway, I hope you feel as though you're falling short as I have. Of course only with the hope that you reevaluate and discern Q/Q with the abounding love and wisdom of the Father. That you grow in knowledge of Him and His desires for you and your family and friends and neighbors and disciples. That you might 'discern what is best and may be pure and blameless' in your lives (Philippians 1).

If it means downsizing your home so mom can be with the kids more often, or that you might tag team the work schedule in fresh ways then just do it, you won't regret not having that extra living room or tv or whatever thing it might be.

If it means opening up your life for the first time to a trustworthy local Body of believers in order that your kids might not be alone as much while you work to put food on the table, then please seek that out now.

Get creative. Define well.

I'll be honest, I did not intend to evaluate the Quantity/Quality paradigm in my life. It was thrust upon me in recent months. For the first time in years I have gotten to witness the 10am meltdown my daughter has as she pleads her near-death pleas for a snack - never saw that on daddies perfect day home because I was too busy coddling her and sneaking her treats. And I'll be honest, when she did meltdown, I had no patience for it on my only day home.

I have gotten to sit quietly with my son. Both of us in the same room simply reading to ourselves without vying for one another's affections. Just being. Sharing in His affections silently and without regret.

I have eaten more meals with my family, changed more diapers, told more stories about the wild reality of God in History and in our lives, and gone to bed at the same time as my awesome wife...than ever before.

I yet disciple several young men, I disciple my son, I am a student wrapping up a degree, I am a part time worker, my wife is a part time worker, we throw parties, visit family, connect with friends, huddle (probably not what you think), cuddle (probably what you think), blog, write kids books, work on my house and my car, and longboard. I wouldn't say apathy is the name of my game. But neither is  careerism.

Re-discern your definition of Quality & Quantity.

Quality OR Quantity...You Choose

What if it didn't have to be a choice? What if it weren't Quality over Quantity?

Let me narrow the context a bit. Family. What if time with your family weren't straddling the line between Qualitative and Quantitative? What if being a family on mission together weren't simply a programmed event for small group nights or once a year service projects with the Church raking leaves and digging ditches...

The Sabbath doesn't exist as an excuse to spend one day of the week with your wife and your children and maybe your close friends and disciples (unless they're off limits on your day of rest as well...). This day wasn't commanded and gifted as an excuse to pack out the other 6 days to the hilt with actual ministry and kingdom building away from them.

When we view life and ministry this way (either vocational ministry or volunteer) we unnecessarily live in a Quantity/Quality paradigm. In this world we give our families limited time and in that time we exhaust ourselves by giving them every spare minute of that day both at home and with Quality special events while your home. You miss out on the normal flow of your kids moods, attention spans, schedule because you're cramming them into your day off. You miss out on a regular rhythm with your wife because you're both focused on having one really good day together with and for the kids.

I know we're single parents and work a ton just to stay alive. I know we have busy seasons at school, at work, in our personal lives. I know there are plenty of exceptions and let's be honest, most of them are attributed to our brokenness: divorce, greed, lust for more, dissatisfaction, proving ourselves, feeling valuable, false sense of peace and satisfaction, consumer culture, misunderstanding of the nature of the Body of Christ etc. Some of these things will carry effects that may not free us in this lifetime to truly wrestle with Quality/Quantity, our lot is cast. But let's not let that define a healthy paradigm for everyone who is able to model and impact the coming generations of the Church, our kids!

You and I have the ability to define Quantity and Quality time with our framilies (thanks Sprint). We can create a lifestyle that actually assumes that Gods directives in Deut. 6 were/are true and real and still effectual. That what Paul coaches Titus in regarding the older generations teaching the younger (Titus 2) that these things are daily, that they are true, that they happen in the course of life in real time, not in programs and explosive moments.

We can say that Quality time with our family looks like both the special meals, trips to the zoo and yearly vacations as well as having dinner with our family nightly. That Quantity isn't simply one single 24/hr. period in our week but is spread about with normal moments of reading the paper while our kids play, putting them down for naps, hanging out with our disciples over coffee and orange juice and neighborhood bbq's and outreach together on mission as a family.

Maybe as Bob Goff recommends, just do away with your minute by minute scheduling and make yourself available. Just be available and be available both for and with your families.

Why not do more life (ministry) out of your house? Why separate ministry and life or worse, define them inappropriately one-sided? Why not be home and share your home (family, friends, couches and food) with more people alongside your wife? Why not let your kids see how you function daily, weaknesses and strengths and struggles instead of putting on a mediocre show once a week for them. Why not love your spouse by running the race with her/him instead of practically living as single parents, bachelors and the like 6 days a week. Is that what it means to sacrifice for the Kingdom?

Why does it have to be one or the other? I understand that for those who don't know Christ there is no tomorrow should they not wake up and this is cause for movement. I understand that we're called to make disciples and that this call is with power and might and action oriented. That the time for disciplemaking is now and not later. But He is in control of that right?

But I also understand that you and I have chosen marriage and families and so must honor these relationships not just in theological theory but in practical affection. I understand that a family on mission will display the very love of God that Christ promises as the Church is truly united one framily at a time. Are non-Christians truly clamoring to get involved in the church in order that they might get really, really busy and burned out? Probably not. But no matter how much doubt, pain and dysfunction might surround you in your neighborhood, a loving and inviting framily actually doing life in Christ together will be much more inviting than, well than that Easter concert you're spending all your evenings on, even that really sweet small group your leading.

I know culture moves fast and entrepreneurship is praised and prized. I know everyone is always connected. I know our comments move at lightening speed and technology is bolstering our connectedness...I know.

I know that speed, that quick decisions, that lots of money, that big enterprises, aggressive leadership (but humble...), that pop culture, that consumerism, that short attention spans...that all of these things are culturally sought after both in and outside of the church.

But what if.

It isn't Quality over Quantity. It's both. It's Qualantity...It's both on purpose and with purpose. And it's so good.

Discipling a Kindergartner

The moment my wife broke the news that I was a father-to-be I immediately started pondering ways I might communicate the truth of the God of the universe to that little creature growing in her belly.  Income, shelter, clothing, college-fund, retirement...none of these entered my mind in that season.  I wanted to find the special sauce to the spiritual development of my little dude.

Now, five years later, I've discovered, created and chosen a few key practices that my wife and I enjoy utilizing as we disciple our children.  I make no effectual promises as to the long term fruit of these practices...I mean, he's only five at this point!  Here are a few:

• Story/History:  We read, tell and invent so many stories that sharing another Bible 'story' allowed for no 'set-apartness' in his little mind.  Instead we began sharing the 'history' of Gods works, people and movements.  We note our past, our ancient family lineage, the histories associated with the Creator through Christ.
• The Bible Says:  I've nothing against this phrase in and of itself.  The Word is living and active, it breathes Truth, fosters wisdom and develops healthy discernment.  While my children will begin to understand the value and worth of Scripture over time, I much prefer to say 'Jesus said,' 'Paul said in his letter,' 'the Prophets taught,' - the Bible says a lot of things, but to my kids it's another book on the shelf.  I'd much rather him envision God proclaiming these truths and not simply another book on his shelf.
• Modern Parables:  As Jesus promised in Johns Gospel we know that the Spirit will offer remembrance and understanding as it comes to Him and His life and teachings.  That said, as it pertains to Jesus' method I like to point out aspects of nature, social interaction, household work-projects etc. as elements for modern parables to teach Truth.  Sure we're always reading and discussing Scripture - yet making it personal in the moment regularly provides immediate context for crazy questions and revelations.

My son regularly asks for 'God Stories.'  He's aware that God has moved and is moving and wonders what He's up to both in the past as well as the present and so on the walk to school, in a car ride to Target, sitting in a hot tub on vacation he's always prodding for more.

What do you do that fosters a healthy discipling of your kids?  How are you creating an environment that fosters a regular interest in the Gods work through time and space?

Of course my kids are young.  They will rebel, stumble, turn away, grow, mature and hear and know the truth of Christ.  That said, while I proclaim no magic pill in discipling my kids, success is not going to be in the distant outcome but is current through the intentionality of walking Deuteronomy 6:4-9'style with my chillin's.

Enjoy the road.  Share your practices, techniques, tools and joys with one another, it's a long, tumultuous and ultimately joyful parenting journey.

re-Training Me Up...

My son, a kindergartner, noted recently how orange a tree was as we drove past it at 45 mph. Until recently I hadn't noticed the tree's. To be honest I'd sort of forgotten about them.

I'm in North Eastern Ohio, surrounded by millions of beautiful trees, woods, forests. It's Fall at that. And I'd not noticed the colors of the trees until my 5 yr. old described them as we drove by unnecessarily fast.

In the past I'd taken time to notice them. In fact, I would have been the one to point them out to my children, my friends, my wife. I would have pointed out the individual leaves, noted the depth of color, divine art in organic motion. I would regularly, daily even, walk with my family through town, through parks, neighborhoods, the city and we would speak of and enjoy the movement of the Spirit yet partaking in creation as He did in the beginning (Genesis 1:1-2).

Now, once again, I'm able to take in the trees amidst the forest.

The Patriarch Moses noted years before that our role as fathers, as parents, is to raise our children to journey with God. My 5 yr. old, in pointing out the trees and noting how God had made them turn his favorite color orange (just for him!), was simply doing what I had trained him to do: note Gods work, point it out to others, and give Him Glory.

It not only feels good to see the trees again, but all the more I'm able to hear my son give God Glory as well.

Read Deut. 6:4-9 - How would you raise your children to glorify God all the more if you could do it again? Start that rhythm tomorrow.

Parenting Lessons from a Famous Made-up Father

A couple parenting lessons from a famous but made-up father.

Jesus once told a story about a Jewish son who demanded his inheritance early, while the father yet lived in fact. We know the story. The father agrees, the son takes his money and runs, wastes his life for a season and returns to his family. And the older brother who stayed was ticked and bitter. Read Luke 15:11-32.

The father in the story not only teaches us much about the love and character of our Heavenly Father, but about our role as parent to our own children. Let me draw out two observations.

First, the father attempted to live up to the sh'ma in Deuteronomy 6. To talk about God and model God-likeness in such a way that his children would know God personally. Your saying, 'but the younger son was a jerk, he was a rebel, he was a fool.' Right.

But the son also returned. He recalled the truth of his childhood and banked on it holding fast upon his return. His repentant response gives this away, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.'

1. The son noted his sin against heaven (the Lord) first and foremost.
2. The son noted his rebellion against his own father.

His paradigm was correct even when his heart and mind had been so selfishly distracted by the world. The dad here faithfully raised his family in Truth. In fact, I believe the training up of his sons was such a gracious overflow of his own life (Deut 6) that his faith was yet enticing to his son even amid rebellion.

Second, the father genuinely loved without bounds.

1. He Waited for his sons return and reconciliation.
2. He Watched quite literally for his son to one day walk onto the family farm.
3. He Welcomed him when he finally did.

So what can we take away from this parable as parents? Be faithful in raising up our children in the Truth. Not simply speaking Truth at them but discipling them in all things - from the moment we rise in the morning to the setting of the sun, with every word and deed, blanketed with the Word of the living God.

And WHEN rebellion occurs. Whether it lasts 10 minutes or 10 years, know that you have faithfully raised your children well, that the Spirit is yet at work in their heart, mind and soul.

And if they return, in whatever state they return, healthy and whole or broken and bruised - wait, watch and welcome with the very same love God offers you upon your daily return to Him.

Read Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Waves and other...Waves

So my son started body surfing this week in NC. We run into the water about 20 feet where the waves roll in sandy and foamy. He turns toward the beach and dives into the rolling water and drifts 10 feet or so, drinks a little salt water, rubs some sand in his eyes and then jumps up and runs back in to do it again.

So incredibly awesome to watch this fearless excitement take shape.

Being a tiny bit more experienced with body surfing I understand the power of the waves more than he does. I've experienced the crushing destruction the wind/water combo brings when it drives ones face into the sand. The rag-doll in a toddlers mouth soggy-tortured feeling when it doesn't go as planned.

I also understand the childlike joy in victoriously riding a primo wave. So on both counts, as I watch my son take to the water without fear of the power of the ocean yet full of the same joy in victory I can't help but experience that internal awesome cacophony of emotion fatherhood brings.

This is such a spiritual endeavor isn't it? Creating and training up. Encouraging and Admonishing. Walking alongside and then stepping back. Holding hands into the water and the then sending off to ride the waves.

I wonder - what is God equipping us for in this season of life? What wave am we soon to be sent off to ride?

Whatever the case, the Scriptures are filled with the story of a God who loves His creation. Exponentially more than I, loving my son as he ventures off on new experiences, is a God who glories in our joyful ventures in His creation with Him.

Ride the waves. Enjoy them. Understanding the power and fury and joy. And then enjoy all the more watching your children ride the same waves...it's exhilarating. I can't even imagine how much joy the Lord truly experiences in journeying with His people as we enjoy Him.

Awesome.

Fathering A Wocket...

Fathering.

Think about the weight of this. It's something you are - a father. And something you do - father. It's both a noun and a verb. This isn't a role a man steps into lightly.

He may be paternal or adoptive but his relation is only as important as his action. He cares for, protects and provides. He assumes responsibility for...but all that's still just technical stuff. Stuff that's assumed when father is your state of being.

My daily fathering is all of that technical stuff with skin on - It's:
laughing at 'bargains' (what my son calls a fart)
break dancing after a long day
reading about Jonah and the Wocket in My Pocket
learning patience amidst tantrum...after tantrum...after tantrum
answering the question again
wiping
feeding
modeling
missing when I'm gone - aching to return
discipline...again and again...with grace
fostering joy
discerning frustrations and anger
encouraging without exasperating
hoping without faulty expectations
praying often...though not enough
guiding and providing and professing and being.

Sometimes it's simply staying.

Always it's loving.

And right at this very moment it's quitting the blog post and building with play-tools...It's always here and now. Fathering is my nature, it's my state of being until I die. It's who I am and what I am.

Read John 15:9 to catch a glimpse of fatherhood discipleship...What He gives us, we pass on to our own.