Processed Goodness (and all my subjective crap)

I remember trying to process 'goodness' as a teenager. Trying to define what it meant to be a good person and if I really wanted to be a good, kind, upright son and citizen.

I remember wrestling internally with those parts of me that wanted so desperately not to care about what good and evil meant. I remember wanting to be free to do as I pleased regardless the consequence, a subjective goodness I suppose. Yet I also recall wanting to be free from my careless selfish thoughts and actions. I fought internally to hold onto a definition of goodness as I understood it in my context without the knowledge of Christ.

'God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen...' - Paul noted this in Romans 1.

He goes on later to explain that the Law of God made sin apparent. The Law, in pointing out and defining some of the characteristics of God, His nature and His holy expectations, also pointed out sin and evil.

Even before I heard the Gospel story I was witness to it's power in all of creation (Romans 1). Having been made in God's image my spirit, my heart, soul and mind, longed for unity with a creator and yet also longed for selfish desires too, and were they different? The Law, by nature of God's presence in creation and obvious residue in all our aspects of American law, justice, love, peace, grace, truth, hurt, pain, equality, unity etc. - brought about a struggle within me that desired deeper connection with truth...while I was aware of truth thanks to Law and creation and culture, I wasn't yet able to define it.

'through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death,' Paul goes on to say in Romans 8.

In being reconciled to my Creator, definable Truth brought about victory over my selfish desires, perfectly in an eternal sense and yet physically it remained in tension. The struggle has changed, I'm no longer confused about goodness and it's role in life, Truth demolishes absolute confusion (though maturing in Christ brings about clarity). Goodness is defined by Christ and victory comes physically, mentally, emotionally when I'm willingly obedient to Him, let me say again, eternally it never changes.

Wrestling with this stuff as a teen was crazy. Wrestling with this Truth as an adult in Christ is healthy. Truth is fact in Christ and conceptual in it's foundational principles in this culture. It illuminates and guides. It defines and causes one to question other 'truths.' It's universal and personal at the same time. Eternal and immediate, here and now.

Years later, I'm thankful that I can define goodness and sin. I am thankful I am not still foraging for definitions that sound, look and feel good in a particular moment in such an imperfect life. I'm free from the slavery of confusion and indecision and bound to unchanging truth.

'In the beginning was the Word...In him was life and that life was the light of men.' John 1:1,4

Wrestle with this stuff. Read John's story of Christ. See how the Spirit moved throughout the early church in Acts. Read Paul's letter to the Romans to wrestle alongside Paul with these concepts of goodness, evil, truth etc.

Real Time Benefits...in Christ

Peace. Grace. Hope. I sat down to process these truths from Romans 5 when for the umpteenth time my son called out from his bedroom. We have a rule that once teeth are brushed, stories told, prayer's said and light's turned then demands are disallowed. Once he's down it's my time to read, pack (we're moving) and relax. I want it. I need it.

After a stern word of clarification regarding the bedtime operation and tears from a sensitive little boy in the middle of transition, I realize that peace, grace and hope were not the overriding tones in my response. I don't know what's more frustrating, his neediness or my selfishness.

'Therefore since we have been justified through faith [in Christ]...'

Four things follow Paul's remark here regarding the justified - those who believe and trust in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. What a stinkin' awesome series of benefits we gain in Christ:

1) Peace with God. Christ's victory over sin and death came at the expense of Him taking the full weight of God's wrath reserved for sinners. He took it on our (my) behalf, covering us and cleansing us. The very same peace that Christ bought for us we're called to model here and now...even with my son well past his bedtime.

2) Stand in Grace. Our faith in this Christ brings about the wild opportunity to live in grace. That is, to live a life connected to the God of the Universe, outside of condemnation and within eternal glory. How convicting it is to receive this grace in the midst of my own graceless confrontation with my little boy.

3) Rejoice in Hope. Hope for what? My fulfilled dreams - The perfect job, family, retirement fund - Long life and health and comfort? No. Hope in God's glory. Glory that's in and about those who have faith in Him. His eternal glory within our now justified souls. While I may fail in any given moment with my son, I rejoice in the hope that my Lord has His hand upon my little dude.

4) Rejoice in Suffering. Why? Because it sanctifies the disciple of Christ. Because through suffering we see that 'God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.' The Spirit, through suffering and struggle, conforms us to the Christ's image. Thank God.

My selfishness is unacceptable. How frustrating it is to succumb to my own selfish desires, even at the end of a long day in a crazy season. Yes, my son should obey his parents, and yes, it's my job and my honor to train him up to do so...yet with grace and joy and appropriate discipline in His love.

My son's neediness for me is only a reflection of my own neediness for my Savior. I pray I remember this truth in the morning.

Peace to you. I pray you too stand in His grace. Always rejoice. Again, I will say it again...rejoice.

Read Romans 5:1-11 (4:1-6:23) for a deeper appreciation for our righteousness in Christ through justification.

The Malady Mill

According to Dictionary.com, 'malady' may be defined as an undesirable or desperate condition even socially and spiritually.

So I was listening to a song the other day entitled Grist for the Malady Mill. How appropriate a description for some seasons of life. I have experienced two incredibly different ends of the spiritual spectrum in the previous month, experiences that are yet currently spilling over into my heart and soul and mind and effectively shaping my attitude to varying degrees.

I have felt the unexplainable prompting of the Spirit to move in extreme ways causing me to move on from my ministry position, my home, community, friends/family etc. for a new version of everything in a new town with no immediate promise of reward.

I have also experienced, directly related to the move of the Spirit above, that sinking feeling of desperation in dramatic change and loss of all control and concrete plan. A sadness from leaving what I've come to love and a pride in wishing I had more to show for what has burdened my heart in this season.

From prison Paul challenged the Philippians through his immediately personal story. He claimed that 'I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.' This said in the midst of the Malady Mill. His imprisonment itself providing enough grist to cause even the best of us to lose heart. Yet this same grist carrying Paul into the Malady Mill was never void of his faith. A faith founded in Christ who alone gives strength in desperately challenging seasons lacking personal ability to overcome.

What Mill are you tossed about in? What have you come through or foresee in the future? What's your source of Strength in the midst?

Malady. I'm not sure I could put my finger on the social, mental, spiritual malady consuming much of my journey in this season, however, while I look around and see the inner workings of the Malady Mill about me, I also confidently and humbly see the Spirit at work amidst the grist. I am not despondent by any stretch of the imagination. And while I'm not kicking my heels together in excitement I am confident He is at work.

Even I can do anything through Him alone, who provides all I need for life and breath and reason.

Read Philippians - a an encouraging letter written from a prisoner on behalf of Christ. Listen to mewithoutYou's Grist for the Malady Mill.

Word of Beard

'"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.' Isaiah 55:8

Thus...my assumptions never quite line up with His actualizations. 'For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength' (1 Cor. 1:25).

Yet His promises, which are revealed, can be clung to.