Like at one point after being made aware of your true human nature, and a transformed life in light of Christ's holiness, you desperately wanted to align yourself with His righteousness, His standard of living, His gracious love...no matter the personal cost.
'Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you,' Peter said to Jesus. All the other disciples said the same. I believe they genuinely meant this. (Matthew 26:35)
They were living alongside their Messiah. They had experiential knowledge of the Christ and became frustrated at the news that they would turn their back on their Teacher. They would never break away from Him and wanted to reassure Him of their zeal.
And yet soon enough they scatter - they deny - they run and hide - they disown - they become confused and depressed - they become the jokes of their neighbors...they lose that electrified connection that at one point in time was so strong and powerful and divine.
You've run. You've scattered. You've disconnected from the Divine that so powerfully redeemed you. Reconnect. Continue shedding the old and taking on the new:
Like in salvation - dying to self.
Like in baptism - along with Christ.
Like in sacrifice - loving others more than self.
Regeneration - from the old to the new.
Are you willing to live deeply, electrifyingly connected to Christ? His static-bearer.
Read Romans 6 - dead to sin, alive in Christ. 1 Corinthians 1:18-2:5 - wisdom of God over mans. Jeremiah 17:7-8.